A man and a woman who had never met before, both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Initially embarrassed & uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired & fell asleep quickly... him in the upper bunk & her in the lower.At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down & gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet, to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.""I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.""Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed."Good," she replied. "Get your own XXXXing blanket."After a moment of silence, he farted.

It was the over 60s night at the bingo hall and three chaps were talking
in the queue. "Man, I hate being 60," said one.
"Why?" asked the man in front.
"I've just turned 60 and it is just the worst age to be," said the first man.
"You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you
stand there and nothing comes out."
Ah, that's nothing," said the second man. "I'm 70, and when you my
age you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat
bran, and sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out!"
"Actually," said the third man, "I'm 80 and I think you'll find that 80
is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" asked the 70-year
old."No, I have one every morning at 6:30." Exasperated, the 60-year-old
said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.
So what's so bad about being 80?"
I don't wake up until 7:00."